10 things...

So it's my day off from work and M and I had plans to hang out today. Well we were texting back and forth all day while we were both running errands and he just stopped responding. So once again, I've wasted an entire day waiting for him when I could have gone home to see my friends.

Now I'm at my apartment watching movies all night. Currently watching 10 Things I Hate About You and it got me thinking what I would have said if I were her. So this is what I came up with:

I hate the way you play those games, I hate the way you hide. I hate how you live in black and white, I hate it when you lie. I hate how we make plans, but then you never call. I hate it when we're at work, you act like you don't know me at all. I hate how perfect you are, I hate how sweet you can be. But what I hate the most is that every night I go to bed knowing you aren't with me.

Of course as I'm writing this he texted me saying sorry I feel asleep and just woke up. Great....Well tomorrow is Valentines Day. And of course M and I are scheduled to close the store together, so we will just see what happens. I'm trying not to get my hopes up though just in case of nothing happens I won't be as disappointed.

So Happy Singles Awareness Day everyone!! I know I will be celebrating :)

So now what?

I figured it's time for an update. I gave him his space for a while and eventually everything went back to normal like we were still just friends. We were hanging out again having fun at his house and work.
Well two nights ago I went to his house and we decided to go in the jacuzzi and have some drinks...more specifically tequila. Well last thing I remember is hooking up with him in the jacuzzi in front of his roommate #1 right after the cops came. I woke up the next morning in his room. Not my finest moment.
I had bruises all over my legs and was beyond hungover. Later that day, M's roommate #2 told me that he knew him and I were hooking up. Busted!!!
So now what do I do? M doesn't want to talk about it and I don't think we will. I brought it up to him and his response was "well what the f*** is he gonna do about it?" which is a good point. I mean yes we work together but our work was never affected.
So if this whole incident has proved anything it's that clearly there is still too much of an attraction between us. I know there is something strong between us and I hope that it works out in the end. You can only hold back feelings for so long, but for right now I'm going to distance myself again so he doesn't feel smothered. He needs space as time to figure this out. And I think I do too.
Oh Jose, you've done me dirty once again ;)

My bad!

Well, I'm at his house right now. He broke up with his girlfriend last night. I've been doing my best to just be friends and I still messed up. I got a little too drunk and said something I shouldn't have. Great....

Seriously I'm so hopeless now. I don't even know how to begin fixing this. All I can do is wait I guess...ugh