He loves me, he loves me not?

Well, it's been a week since I've moved into my new place. And it's been a week of too much craziness!!!

I will keep it pretty summarized. M and I got together. It finally happened. We spent 4 nights in a row with each other either at his house or mine. It was amazing!! He admitted to me he had feelings for me for a while and that he always thought of me. He even promised he wouldn't hurt me.

So the days were flying by and I felt like it was a fairy tale I was in! I would always ask him if it was real and he would reply with "yes as real as it can get". It was perfect. Waking up in his arms every morning was so great. When he would leave for work he would kiss me on the cheek. I can't even describe how happy I was.

Then all of the sudden, BOOM. It was over. He was avoiding me and wouldn't say more than 10 words to me even at work. So all of the sudden he tells me that work is too important as we should have known better..I was beyond crushed. I had finally gotten what I wanted and it was taken away. He promised he wouldn't hurt me then broke that promise within a week of saying it.

It's weird. I know it all happened but I've been in a horrible daze. At work and at home. I don't feel welcome around him. It's like he looks at me like an annoyance. Maybe it all happened too soon or maybe too fast. It was overwhelming. But I've made the right choice to let it go for now. It sucks but I would rather have him as a friend then nothing at all. Hopefully him and I will get out of this rut and go back to how things were before. We had such a strong friendship, that's what I'm really missing now. But what I can't get out of my head is that I know if he came up to me tomorrow and asked to try it again, I would in a heartbeat. I will wait for that day to come. I'm just a hopeless romantic...

I love this picture. He wrote it one night at work and slipped it to me. Its little things like this that I miss so much now.

Wow, you two are meant to be together!

Yup, that's what one of my best friends just told me. I'm moving tomorrow morning for my job. I can't wait because now I will be closer to M and I will be at a job that I absolutely love! I stayed the night at his house the other day because we were at work late. We got back to his place and had margaritas and stayed up until 3 talking.

One thing I love about him is that we never have a dull moment. Even if we are somewhere and there is silence it's never awkward. We always have something to talk about. There have even been days where we had no plans and somehow those turned out to be some of the best days we've spent together.

So fast forward to now. My friend S came over today to say goodbye/help me pack more stuff. I was telling her about M and explaining the whole situation and of course she said it sounded like the perfect love story. Unfortunately I'm still waiting for that happy ending to arrive.

Looks like according to everyone we are meant to be together. He just hasn't realized it yet. But it did make me feel better when all of my friends unanimously agreed that I was better looking than his girlfriend. So, I can fall asleep with a smile on my face knowing that. Yay :)

Every time we hang out at my house, we sit on the counters and have our deep conversations. These are the moments I live for!

BTW I'm totally in love with my new UGG boots that I recently bought :)

Introduction...

I barely know where to begin. I created this blog because I need to get all of this out in the open without changing any of the close relationships I have. This will be my escape from the harsh reality of love, friendship, and life. Don't get me wrong, they are all great, but some days I wish I could just write it all out and leave it there. I'm creating this blog not only to let me express my truly honest feelings, but I hope if anyone ever stumbles upon this, they too will find that they either can relate to it or have related to it in the past.

Just looking at the title of this blog, it's set mainly around boys. More specifically, one boy. A boy I can't get. I know, cue the violins! No, it's not like that. He is my best friend and I am crazy in love with him. Now here's the kicker....he has a girlfriend. Even worse, she is only 17 and still in high school. I know this sounds like a Taylor Swift song, but it's my life right now. I hang out with him everyday, whether it is at work or at one of our houses. He stays the night at my place, I sleep on his couch with him. We are literally inseperable. There were months at a time were we would have sleepovers 5 out of the 7 days a week. Now, when I say sleepovers, I don't mean hooking up because that's not whats going down. Me being 21 and him 20, we stay up late either talking or watching movies, especially Disney movies :)


So, where did this all begin? We started working together a little over two years ago at a new restaurant that opened. We instantly got along because of all the similarities we share. Fastforward to now and you will find our friendship fully grown into us being BFF's (no we have never actually said BFF to one another). So why am I in such a pickle? Because I believe he has feelings for me too, but he is stuck. No, I'm not one of those girls who thinks she can get anyone. If anything I have no self esteem! But too many moments have occured where he has said something or done something suggesting more than friendly gestures.


How do I change this situation I'm in? This is a question I ask myself daily. Being his best friend, I would never do anything to purposely jeopardize his relationship with her, but I hate sitting back watching her break him down with her stupid high school drama and immature personality. She is always yelling at him for things that he has no control over. Now he and I have both recently received promotions within our job and have relocated to a new city and store location. When he called his girlfriend to inform her of the news her first comment to him was, " Seriously? So when will I ever see you? Never?!" ..... Come on little high schooler. She wasn't even proud of her man being promoted to a great position.  He is one of the most mature guys I have ever met. He may be a few months younger than me, but he has the same charasmatic and genuine maturity that guys years older than me carry. I always would say he was the perfect example of a guy I need to find, until I realized he was the one I wanted ultimately.

That leaves me here, with a blog that will remain anonymous. I will stay a secret, and he will be M. I'm that girl, that hopeless romantic. My friends will always ask me who is he? I simply reply, "Oh, he's just some guy..."